Balance & Beyond Podcast

This week, Jo is joined by Mindset Coaches Jaclyn & Sabina to share their biggest insights and lessons from 2024.

They have a unique perspective on the trends impacting high-achieving women developed over thousands of hours of coaching calls.

Sabina shares details on the word that has continually come up in our world this year - perimenopause. Learn why quick fixes aren’t enough and the missing pieces of this important health conversation that aren’t being had.  

Jaclyn shares the pervasive impact we’ve seen imposter syndrome have on even the most externally confident women who also live with a nagging sense of inadequacy. She reveals the underlying issues that often fuel this persistent struggle, leading to burnout and unfulfillment. With the right support systems in place, you can confront hidden insecurities and realign your identity with your achievements. 

This episode promises to provide the tools and support you need to redefine success and embrace the life you've worked hard to build. Let go of those doubts and step into your full potential with confidence.

Catch up on the Biggest Lessons from 2024 - Part #1 here.

Your special invitation!

This December, I’m hosting the 30 Days to a Brighter You Challenge—a powerful, month-long experience designed to help you create meaningful shifts in your life, one small step at a time.

Each day, you’ll get a focus word, quick tools, and access to a supportive community to help you feel more grounded, confident, and ready for 2025.

Spots are limited, and we kick off December 1st! Head to www.balanceinstitute.com/december to join us—only $99 with the coupon code PODCAST

Episode Transcript

INTRO: Welcome to Balance and Beyond, the podcast for ambitious women who refuse to accept burnout as the price of success. Here, we’re committed to empowering you with the tools and strategies you need to achieve true balance, where your career, relationships and health all thrive, and where you have the power to define success on your own terms. I honour the space you’ve created for yourself today, so take a breath, and let's dive right in…

A quick reminder: I want to make sure that you are inside the “30 Days To A Brighter You” challenge. Yes, I know this episode is airing after the 1st of December, but do not let that stop you! This is a powerful opportunity to really see what we do here, to understand the meaningful shifts that are possible when you unlock tools and strategies that allow you to do that, one small step at a time. December is normally crazy, but it does not have to be! You can be calm, you can be cool. and you can be really ready for 2025. Make sure you jump in ASAP. Check out the details in the show notes, or visit balanceinstitute.com/december and let's make it a month to remember! 

Jo Host

Welcome back to part two of our biggest trends of 2024. You heard from me last episode with some of the key shifts that I have seen, both in the business and personally, because, honestly, those two can be very intertwined. And today, I'm joined by our two wonderful mindset coaches, Jaclyn and Sabina. Welcome, ladies, thanks for joining me. 

Sabina Guest

Hello, hello! 

Jaclyn Guest

Hooray, happy to be here!

Jo Host

So, it's been a big year. There’s been a lot going on, and we have seen some new trends that start to emerge that we think are really worthwhile to mention, to bring your attention to. Because, some of these are buzzwords. But, what we're real experts at here, is giving you the intel on what's actually going on below, say, the buzzword, or beyond, what everybody else is talking about. 

And so, Jaclyn and Sabina have two trends that they've identified each and, no surprise, this is coming from hundreds possibly, if not thousands of hours, working one-on-one and in groups with our target audience of high achieving women. So, if you've wondered, “Are you alone?” If you've wondered, you know, “Are you the only one going through this?” You're about to get an inside look at what everybody else, like you, is going through. 

So, Sabina, why don't we start up with you? It's a buzzword that has everyone from Oprah, to I think even it was on ‘The Joe Rogan’ show, talking. It starts with P. What's the buzzword, that is almost the word of the year? 

Sabina Guest

It seems to be a bit like that, doesn't it? Yeah, it's … drum roll … “Perimenopause”! It is a thing, you know, and it's amazing how many women are talking about this in our world. And that's a good thing! It's a good thing, I think, that we're raising awareness about, you know, such a huge part of being a woman. But the context is really interesting, in which we're having these conversations. 

So, a lot of the women that step into our world, they're talking about a cocktail of issues. And perimenopause is one of them, which is really important to address. But, it's also important to look at it, in your entirety of your life. So, what we're hearing is that there are women who are at certain points in their career, making great waves, ambitious, moving up, being promoted. 

They have children at home, primary school, or starting to be in secondary school, perhaps they're starting to fly the nest. There's aging parents in the mix, and then there's perimenopause. And it's a very big cocktail which demands your attention. 

But, the conversations that we're having with women, some women are negating the importance of looking after their health, and just pushing through without giving it proper thought about tending to their physical well-being. And then, there are other women who, interestingly, are saying, “It's okay.” “I'm just going to go on HRT.” Or “That will sort me out!” 

Now, I think it's really important to bring attention to the fact that you need to tend to all levels of your well-being. And oftentimes, by the point that we're talking to women, their health is starting to take such a toll that perimenopause can hit them so much harder, than if they had already been a bit more balanced and looking after themselves, and having strategies to make life more bearable. 

So, what we like to say is, “Yes, absolutely honour and recognize that your body is going through a huge change.” And how can you tend to your mindset, as well as your emotions, as well as your physical body, and have strategies in place, to be able to juggle and balance the very real demands on your life? 

So, perimenopause is part of it. But, the really important thing is to take action everywhere where you're feeling stretched. Not just your body, or not just right off this phase of your life as being difficult, just because of perimenopause. 

Jo Host

And to your point, Sabina, yes, it can have a toll, But, what we often see is, people think that some supplements, or HRT, as you said, will fix the problem, and magically they're going to get focus, and magically they'll stop crying, and magically they won't waste so much time, and magically they'll stop feeling guilty. And while some of that may be true, hormones may be having an impact on them. It is just one part of the puzzle that may be having an impact on them. It is just one part of the puzzle. 

So, we are big advocates of taking care of your physical health. All three of us have a whole suite of, whether it's professionals or things that we do, to take care of our physicality. But. it's not that, at the expense of everything else. It's that we want to make sure that you are recognizing what is coming. If it's not yet on its way, or you're in the middle of it, or maybe you're through the other side. 

But, it's just one part of ourselves, and we don't want it to come and whack you, and completely take you out. So, speaking of taking ourselves out, Jaclyn, when it comes to self-care, I guess this is aligned with the focus on health. There's an emerging trend that we've seen this year, and it is one that I personally have been guilty of. I've done podcast episodes on this. But, I've also shared how I have made the switch that we have seen. It is really the antidote, and what more successful women are doing. So, Jaclyn, what's this self-care trend? 

Jaclyn Guest

Yes, very much what Sabina was just mentioning, about how women have a tendency to push through when there's adversity, and they're really good at pushing through, and still making a great impact. And that's what makes so many women successful, and makes them high achievers. So, the same thing happens. We see around their self-care, we see women being perfectionists with their self-care rituals. 

So, it becomes more dogmatic. Or like, things that they “should do.” Whether it's, you know, the breath work, or getting up at a certain time of day, or when they work out. It has to be a big sweat, and they have to be really working hard. Like, all of this kind of “achieving energy” is still behind the self-care. “What can I take off the to-do list?” “What can I say I achieved?” And be perfect at it. And “It has to be at a high standard, otherwise, I'm not going to bother doing it at all.” 

Jo Host

“45 minutes or bust!” “What's the point, otherwise?” “If I've only got 10 minutes, that's not worth it, because I'm not sweating!” 

Jaclyn Guest

Exactly, exactly! It's this really high intensity thing, really, that leads to that burnout that Sabina was already talking about. And then, it's applied to self-care, and it's just so ironic. And that self-care, really, can only look one way, and it has to be super productive, and it has to be super shiny, and super awesome. And, you know, be your best records, and like all these things, and there can be some merit to that. 

It's not like that's all bad and wrong. But, what we're seeing is that there's no space for slowing down. That's not lauded at all. In fact, it's kind of brushed off. “Slowing down?” Like, “Who has time for slowing down?” “I have things to achieve here!” “I have self-care to do!” So yeah, the irony is including slowness, spaciousness, down-regulating movement, which can feel like doing nothing, like literally laying down on your back with your legs up the wall. Yeah, rituals that are more restorative in nature. They don't feel like you're achieving anything. 

And that's why they feel so counterintuitive, and not worth your time, for those high achievers amongst us, who are applying that perfectionism and that high intensity, as the only standard. So, yeah, that's the trend that I've been seeing is, can women give themselves permission to have a different rhythm? To have a different pace, versus just breakneck speed all the time? 

And this also applies intellectually, with the way that women take in content for their personal transformation. So, working with their mindset for a different example, is that it has to be fast. And then, “What's the next podcast?” and “What's the next book I can read?” and “How many tools can I learn?” and “How fast can I implement the tools?” and “If I don't achieve it?” 

Sabina Guest

On 2x, I was going to say, on 2x speed. “How much can I consume?”

Jo Host

On 2x speed, by the way. If you listen to this on 2x speed, we are talking to you. Slow it down. This is your challenge. Listen to the rest of this podcast on single time. Let's see how many take the challenge up. 

Sabina Guest

That's going to be like nails on a chalkboard, going slow. 

Jaclyn Guest

Right? Yeah, it can feel so grating to go so slow. But I think slowing down, and slowing down the content ingestion, allows you to to actually digest your life. There's more. I wanted to speak more to where we get backed up. But, I'll talk about that in a little bit. But, for now, I'll just leave it as, “Can we get off that high intensity train track, with our energy ‘consuming of content’, and the way we push our bodies?” And “Can we opt for simpler, slower, easier, ease-ful?” Yeah.

Jo Host

Yeah, and I will say that personally, a lot of my year has been about recovery and slowing down. And it's actually where you need the most help. We don't need help to go faster. “More.” “Push 10 more.” “Give me 10 more.” Like, we did that for ourselves. But actually having someone hold you and go, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're speeding up again!” “Slow back down!” 

It is so important, because I definitely wouldn't have repaired my nervous system the way I have. If I didn't have someone saying to me, “You're not running today, Jo.” “You're doing yoga, or you're just going to bed early.” “What?” “What do you mean?” “It's on my schedule.” “I have to run!” No, your body's not ready to run. Okay, so this is where you've got to find people that know your patterns, and can help you break them. 

Sabina Guest

I'd like to chime in here. Something that I see a lot is when you're running at breakneck speed, as you say, your system is so conditioned to go fast that the thought of slowing down feels really wrong. And then I speak to a lot of women who then want to smash out a PB for their running. That's so fine, if that feels good for you! But, there's a fine balance between running the engine completely dry when you're already empty. 

And, because you're so fast, you think you want to smash out a workout, or you want to smash out a run. Learn to listen to what your body is actually craving. You might think it needs speed, but it may actually need the complete opposite, and that it. Yes, you need to be held accountable. But, there's also a process of learning to listen. “Is there actually exhaustion underneath the speed?” 

Jo Host

Yeah, and the answer is usually “yes.” Spoiler alert! Sorry, sorry. Speaking of speed, another emerging trend that we're seeing, Sabina, is something that we've done Workshops on this year. High achievers have a particular, let's say, “penchant” or “skill” at mastering this syndrome. Tell us, Sabina, what's this trend that you've seen this year? 

Sabina Guest

Yeah, it's the high achiever. We work with incredible, incredible women, who are good. Lifestyle is good, career is going well, outward success, things are feeling pretty great, and you're known for doing great things, achievements. But, there's a disconnect and there's a dissonance, in how it actually feels. And a really strong emerging trend of conversation and themes, is around being a high achiever. 

But also, feeling this nagging sense of, “Am I an imposter here?” And it's often this really quiet voice, or gnawing feeling that's in the background, that you don't quite give enough attention to. And there are different ways in which this can play out. Oftentimes, it's drowned out by speeding up “La la, la, can't hear you!” “Nothing to see here!” “Everything's fine!” “I'm just going to nail this other achievement, and get this other accolade.” 

And so it's like, “Speeding up!” “Can't hear you!” You know, and just, “I just need to do more to feel like this is all okay.” And we'll just get the next, you know, whatever it is, I don't know, the next accolade, or material possession. And just covering up, or another flavor of that is that voice is getting so loud. It's like, “I've got a great life, but there's a missing piece.” “Why am I not feeling good?” “Is it me?” “Everyone else says I'm doing a really great job!” “Everyone else seems to believe in me!” “Life looks okay, what's not feeling right here?” 

And there's this sense of feeling a little bit lonely, as you rise up through your career, or wondering, “Is it just me that's not feeling completely satisfied?” And, when you have these conversations with women, it's really interesting what comes out behind the scenes. There can be a sense of, I don't know, “If I'm coping, I don't know if this is sustainable.” And so, the antidote to that is, “I'm just going to do more, to feel like I'm in control.” More, right. Again, “Hello burnout pattern!” 

So, it's that sense of, “I feel a little bit out of control.” I'm just going to “effort-more.” Just, spoiler alert, that's not the answer. You know, “I'm not really enjoying this life that I've created.” “I'm where I want to be in my career, or I'm on the right trajectory.” “I've got beautiful kids.” You know, “I live somewhere nice.” I mean, it doesn't have to be all those things. I'm just giving examples. 

But, “I don't feel safe or secure or happy.” Or, another thing that comes out is, “I don't know if I deserve this.” And that's another flavour of the imposter voice. “I just don't feel truly confident with what I've created.” “What if it could be taken away from me?” “What if I take my foot off the pedal, and don't try as hard, and give 110?” “What if it all falls over?” “Then I'll be destitute, and I'll lose the house, and the kids!” You know? And then there's this catastrophization. 

So, it's like this burden. The burden of high achievement and high performance. There can be a shadow side, which is the imposter that's saying, “This was a fluke.” “Oh, you can't really sustain this!” And, “Who are you to be doing this?” “Your Mum didn't, your grandma didn't, your aunties didn't.” “There's no one else in your family doing this!” “Do you really deserve it?” 

And again, that can spur you into, “Oh, maybe I've created this life too easily.” “Maybe I have to do more, to feel more deserving.” Can you see? Is this sort of, ringing bells of all the different flavours? But, underneath it, there's this sense of, “Do I deserve it?” “Am I an imposter here?”

Jo Host

And those are some crazy compensatory behaviors that we see, and until you actually you hinted at this, Sabina, are able to identify what is actually driving it. People say, “I just need more time, I need better time management, and I need to learn to focus, because I'm a bit scattered.” “I'm not strategic enough.” They're the outward symptoms of a deeper root cause that can be very difficult to see yourself, because you don't have the time, or the headspace, because you're going so fast, and you think you just have to do more. 

So, this is where you need support from someone, whoever that may be, to guide you to what actually is the root, so that you can address it. And then, we see people step in to actually claiming this life that they've built. And that's one of the most magical things we get to see, isn't it? 

Sabina Guest

Yeah, and you raise a really good point there. It's yes, you know there are strategies and practicalities and pragmatic things that you can do to change your relationship with time and your priorities, but that piece is really about your identity. Has your identity caught up with your level of success and achievement to make you feel safe and secure without having to continually strive to prove yourself? And it's this confidence piece. 

The number of women that we speak to, right Jaclyn and Jo, who are incredible at what they do, but they're lacking this inner sense of confidence and deep rooted belief of I've got this and I can rise to any challenge that comes and I may have mentioned this already, a lot of women feel quite lonely. 

They don't want to talk about this. They don't want to admit it for fear of seeming like they're ungrateful for the life that they've got. Or there's shame. And so, having the ability to speak to a coach, or even in a community like ours, to be able to confide some of your, you know, niggling fears, or secret doubts. It's so powerful, and it's so healing. And oftentimes, it's just a shift in awareness, and an ability I love. 

Sometimes, I sometimes feel like a priest in a confession box. Because, I hear people sharing things. It's like, “Yeah, let's lift the shame.” And then women pop out the other side. It's like, “Oh my God, I've got this!” “I didn't need to be carrying that monkey on my back, that imposter syndrome.” So, being able to share what's heavy on your heart, and know that “you're not alone” is powerful. 

Jo Host

Absolutely. And I think that probably brings us to the fourth trend, Jaclyn, that this burden, this shame, this guilt. “What if it is a fluke?” “What if I haven't earned it?” “What if it's all going to be taken away?” It can cloud everything, which is another emerging trend, and something that's very close to our heart here at The Balance Institute. Jaclyn, what's something that people are, I guess, not doing enough of, or not giving enough attention to? That actually can be the shift that unlocks so much.

Jaclyn Guest

Yes, so I love talking about this! It's such a game changer, when women start to connect to their inner worlds, and their emotional landscape. We have a tendency to want to avoid our emotions. We don't know what to do with them. They don't feel useful, they feel like a nuisance, they feel scary, inconvenient. But they're actually pointing you to wisdom. Your emotional responses are exactly that. They're a response to your life. 

So, if you're experiencing grief, or frustration, or shame, or resentment, or guilt, chronically, it's pointing to something that wants your attention. So, your emotions, you can think of them. They're a compass. If we know how to tune into them, and not get stuck in the story of the emotions. Sometimes, our relationship with our emotions is that, “Oh no, now I'm just going to go on a spiral, and then just feel worse.” Right? 

But, that's when we're listening to the narrative, or the disempowering beliefs, that closely follow the emotion. So, it's a fine line. It's a skill, really, to learn how to put attention on emotion, with curiosity, and look for the deeper thing that the emotion's pointing you towards, versus, getting trapped in the disempowering narrative. And for most people, they don't even, this is all unconscious. They don't even know there's an option, right? They don't notice that. They don't know that there's another way of being with their emotions. 

The only way that they know how to be with their emotions is getting stuck in a spiral, avoiding it completely. Or the third is just intellectualizing. So, and at least that one, is a little constructive, right? So, sometimes we can look, you know, “That's where curiosity comes in.” And we can start to intellectualize our emotions. And that's a good place to start, is to start unpacking, and understanding our emotions. 

But, that's only part of working with our emotions. Because, if we are only thinking about our emotions all the time, and we never give ourselves a chance to actually feel the sensations of our emotions. It's like “intellectual bypassing”, is what it's called. It's just an intellectual understanding of your emotions, it's an analytical way of being in relationship with your emotions, and it produces something helpful, understanding. 

But, it doesn't address that. There is, you could call it, an accumulation of material energy that builds up in the body, in the nervous system. It creates agitation, it has this in fight or flight, the emotional material. Then you can't just think that away, or understand it enough away. Compelling, to think if we understand it enough, “If I understand my emotions, then that's all I need to do.” 

Jo Host

Where they came from, and what I need to do with them, and let me read a book, a podcast on processing your emotions. It's like, “No, no.” “That's not going to make them disappear.”

Sabina Guest

Yeah, thinking your feelings, isn't it, Jaclyn? We say, “Are you thinking your feelings, or are you feeling your feelings, and letting them move through you?”

Jo Host

It's like reading a book on learning how to ride a bike, and then wondering why, when you get on, you can't ride a bike. You have to actually get on the bike to learn. Yeah, you get it, I can understand it. I can stand on my, you know, I can sit on a chair, and I can do this with my feet and I can be like, “Yeah, yeah, I get it, I get it, but you got to get on the damn bike.”

Jaclyn Guest

Right, right, you understand how to do it, but can you do it? 

Jo Host

Yeah, you might fall off!

Jaclyn Guest

Which is risky and vulnerable. To do that with the bike, and same with your emotions, right? It feels a little messy and uncertain, and it kind of leads us into all sorts of places that we can't anticipate. Which, for high achievers who tend to be kind of control freaks, I'm naming myself in that, it's like, “Where is this going to go?” and “What's the point of all this?” 

And you have to be willing to trust your emotions, have wisdom for you, and so it's a really worthwhile skill. And along that line, is the ability to regulate yourself in any given moment, where you do get hijacked by emotions. Those emotions that start accumulating and create what I call “emotional constipation” leads us to have more fight or flight responses, like I mentioned before. 

So, if you're finding you're more agitated, easily triggered, edgy. Then, you know, in addition to what I was just speaking to, it's also helpful to learn skills in any given moment to come back to yourself, to be able to remain in your body, and respond, as opposed to being reactive. So, that's kind of a complementary skill to emotional literacy that I was just speaking to before, is self-regulation when you're agitated. So, those are the two main trends that I see this year that women could really benefit from. 

Jo Host

And they're two really big trends that we've seen. When you are able to conquer them in terms of, you know, take care of your health amongst the cocktail of everything else you've been going through. If you can really start regulating your nervous system, without trying to achieve it, if you're able to really have that deep seated belief that, “I am enough” That uncheckable confidence that, you know, that being able to own your place in the room, and really enjoy everything you've earned. 

And then, being able to tap into all the joy, and the fulfillment, and the peace, and the calm, that are those top words that everybody consistently says to us they want more of. Then, these are the trends that we're seeing that are so important for you to be aware of, so that you can access what everybody is also telling us that they want. 

So, some really, really powerful lessons in here for you, as we wrap up 2024. It's hard to believe. I think we're closing in on, if not, I've already passed by this show over 50,000 downloads, which is quite an achievement. And we thank you all for listening, for spending time with us, and importantly, for spending time with yourself. 

So, that is a wrap on our season for 2024. There may be some little secrets dropping in the next little bit. So, make sure you subscribe to this, wherever you subscribe to your podcasts, just in case, so you don't miss anything! And then, we will be back live in 2025. I can't believe I'm saying that word in 2025, with lots of goodness, lots of special guests, and lots more insights for you to help get your Balance and Beyond. 

OUTRO: Thanks for joining us today on the Balance and Beyond Podcast. We're so glad you carved out this time for yourself. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who might need to hear this today. And if you're feeling extra generous, leaving us a review on your podcast platform of choice would mean the world. If you’re keen to dive deeper into our world, visit us at www.balanceinstitute.com to discover more about the toolkit that has helped thousands of women avoid burnout and create a life of balance, and beyond. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next time on the Balance & Beyond Podcast.