Balance & Beyond Podcast

What truly defines success in today's relentless world?

On Balance and Beyond, we unravel the captivating story of a fisherwoman whose life challenges traditional notions of achievement. As she engages with a businesswoman urging her toward incessant growth, we explore the intense societal pressures to constantly do more and question if relentless ambition is the only path to fulfilment. This episode is a call to reflect on your definition of success and to consider how to achieve harmony without falling into burnout. We invite you to join us in reimagining the story, which is not just about choosing a career path but choosing a life that aligns with your personal values.

Celebrate with us the empowering spirit of those who bravely carve out nontraditional paths. Through inspiring discussions, we delve into the art of designing a balanced life, focusing on personal joy and meaningful connections rather than sacrificing everything for career triumphs. By sharing personal reflections and insights, we strive to help you create a life that prioritises what truly matters.

Episode Transcript

INTRO: Welcome to Balance and Beyond, the podcast for ambitious women who refuse to accept burnout as the price of success. Here, we’re committed to empowering you with the tools and strategies you need to achieve true balance, where your career, relationships and health all thrive, and where you have the power to define success on your own terms. I honour the space you’ve created for yourself today, so take a breath, and let's dive right in…

I heard a story recently that really stuck with me. I don't know about you, but I hear lots of stories, and lots of parables. But, this one hit home like nothing had for a really, really long time. So, in today's episode, I'm going to share with you this beautifully simple story. I'm going to share what it brought up within me, what it really moved within me, and pose some, what I hope are really powerful questions, that will hopefully allow you to have a similar kind of breakthrough and insight that I did. 

So, this is the story that I'm going to make female oriented. Because, all these parables are always about men. This is about a fisherwoman, and a businesswoman. And the story goes that there was a fisher-person lying on the beach, and every morning, they would wake up, and they would catch two fish. They would catch one fish for their family, then they would catch one fish to take to the market, and buy enough for the day. They'd finish fishing at midday, then they would hang out with their kids, hang out, play on the beach, and come evenings, they would go to the local cantina, go to the restaurants, hang with their friends, sing and play music. 

Now, one day, a businessman, a woman businesswoman, let's make this a film story came walking along the beach and saw this fisher lady lying there playing with the kids and said, “Oh, what are you doing?” And she said, “I've finished my fishing for the day.” And the fisher-person said, “Well, that's really interesting, but if you're done by midday, why don't you stay fishing for longer? If you're a really great fisher lady?” “And then, you can take them to the market.” 

And the fisher-woman said, “Okay, and then what?” And this person said, “Well, if you can catch some more fish, then you can earn some more money.” “And then what?” “Well then eventually, when you start catching enough fish, you're going to get more efficient with your processes.” “Then, you can buy fish off other people, so you can get other people to fish with you, so you can catch more fish.” 

And this fisherwoman said, “And then what?” “Well then, eventually you can get a boat, which is going to allow you to catch even more fish.” “And when you keep going, and you're successful, and you get people to look after your boats, then you can have a whole fleet of boats that are all catching fish, and then you can be this really successful fisher person.” 

She said, “And then what?” The businesswoman said, “Well then, this is when it gets really fun.” “You're going to be so good at catching fish, that then you can come to town, and you can open up a factory.” “So now, rather than selling your fish at the fish market, well, you can process the fish, and maybe you can build a factory and start a cannery, and then you can export this amazing fish that you catch all over the world.” And the person said, “And then what?” And they said, “Well, after 15 to 20 years of backbreaking work, and lots of hours, then you get to retire a very wealthy person.” 

And this person, sitting on the beach looking at their kids after a great night the night before, looked at this person and said, “And what is retirement?” This person said, “Well, you get to wake up in the morning, you get to go fishing, you finish at lunchtime, and then you get to spend the afternoon hanging around with your friends, and your family, and you get to go out at night, go to restaurants, and go and do those amazing things.” And this woman looked at the business person and said, “This is the life that I already have.” Just sit with that for a moment. 

How many of us are on this treadmill of catching fish, getting boats, getting a fleet of boats, getting people to drive our boats for us, maybe you're setting up a canning factory? This life that we, in theory, all makes a lot of sense. But, as this fisherman said, “That sounds like a lot of work, and not a lot of fun.” “And you go and do all of this, all of this for 15 to 20 years, just to wind up where you are at the end?” 

Now, I'm not saying, “Don't be successful.” You should know, if you've been listening to me for a while, that's the last thing that I want for you. However, what really grabbed me about this story, is this belief that really is out in the world. That there is an either, or. You're the fisher-person, who has this great life. You fish, if you like to fish. You play with your family, you hang out with your friends. 

However, you don't have that much money. We all know that money in this world buys opportunity. So, you don't have a whole lot of money. So, while you can be essentially very, very happy, you can be limited with your choices, and your options. Or, we're presented with the path of the businesswoman, who doesn't sit on the beach, and sacrifices time with her family, her friends, and fun and joy, and freedom, for 15 to 20 years, while she's waiting for this magical “one day” when she has more time, when she can sit on the beach, and play with her kids. 

But, in 15 to 20 years, those kids are gone. Those kids have disappeared. They don't want to know you anymore. They're off leading their own lives. And here you are, back on the beach going, “Okay kids, I've now got money in the bank, and I'm now ready for you.” And yet, there's nobody left. There's no friends left. Maybe there's no partner left. The kids have gone, and you're now sitting alone on the beach with a very full bank account, but nobody to share it with, and no joy. 

So this, for me, is such a powerful reminder of the need to find a path where you get to have both. Where the desire to have money, and abundance, and to unlock opportunities doesn't come at the cost of your joy, and your freedom, and your fun, and your entertainment. And all of these parts of us that so many women have shut down, have said, “Right.” “This is the path that I have to take.” “I have to be a career person.” “I have to forsake it all.” “This is about hustling.” “I've got to push, I've got to grind.” 

And it is leading to an entire generation of women who are burning out at rates never seen before, who are miserable, who don't know themselves, because they don't even know if they want this path. They don't even know if they want to open a cannery, for God's sake. They just think that that's what they have to do because, well, they're a fisher-person. Or maybe you're an analyst, or maybe you're a lawyer, or maybe you're a doctor, or you're a project manager. This is the path that comes next. But, who said this is the path that has to come next? 

So, not only was this a real, potent reminder for me, of the importance of finding this middle path, that doesn't even exist in parables. It's so new, particularly for the female line, that there are no parables about this. We are the ones that I'm hoping are going to be making up these parables, and making up these stories, and talking about your mama who went out and caught fish and had other people run the boat for her, but still knocked off at four, and was able to be there and enjoy her family, and not to sap herself and get cancer, and autoimmune disease, and have nothing left to give at the end of the day. 

So, that was one component of it. And what really feeds into that, is this ability to really design the life you want. And by this, I mean, really deciding what matters to you. And, I have been at an interesting crossroads. We're growing very rapidly here, at The Balance Institute. We've got new teams, we are continuing to break records, and that's all really, really exciting. 

But, I've also recognized that in my personal situation, I have just over a year until my youngest starts high school. She's in year five at the moment and what this means is I only have another year and a bit of her leaving the house at nine, and coming back at three. Once she starts high school, she'll be like her older sister, who is out of the door at 7:30am, and two nights a week, she doesn't get home until after 8:30pm, because she goes straight from school to dancing. At the start of 2026, I'm going to have all this time. I'm going to have two children out by 7:30 am, and I'm going to have whole days when they aren't home until late. They're going to have even more activities than they do now. 

And so, where is the opportunity for me to say, “You know what?” “What matters to me right now, for the next year and a bit, is being around for those mornings.” “Being available, not being on my phone, not being on my laptop, not doing calls.” It’s walking her to school, walking the dog, chatting to friends, going for the odd coffee, and right now, that is what matters to me more than an extra whatever percent revenue growth, or more women that we can help. 

Now, what this has done for me, is it’s really helped me get laser focused on my priorities. But, what has also been really, really important is, I want to be able to walk Stella to school, and have those moments, and be around. And I'm willing to put my hand on heart and say, “You know what?” “If that means that I'm going to have to sacrifice a little bit from, let's say, a business performance, or my old high achiever-ness, I'm okay with that.” “However, I am determined to have my cake, and eat it, too.” 

So, “Because I want to do that, and that's what matters to me, how do I find efficiencies in other ways?” “How do I delegate?” “How do I outsource, so that I don't have to be the one doing everything?” “How do I grow my team?” “How do I leverage my team, so that I can be in a position where I do get to have this really, really magical life where I get to have my cake and eat it?” 

And what this Fisherwoman story has really allowed me to do is not only be really crystal clear on, “What are my priorities?” “How do I want to design this life?” “What matters to me?” And I tend to do this seasonally, because we're a very big sporting family, and winter for us is a bit nuts. So, what my life looks like in winter, is very different to what my life looks like outside of that. Just from an availability, and a timeline perspective, the question that unlocked so much for me is, there's been lots of big lotteries and things like that. 

So if you turn around, and you have this conversation with yourself, maybe with your partner, with friends, “if you won 100 million dollars tomorrow, what in your life would you change?” And that is such a powerful question for you to realise how much would change. We won't go into money beliefs, there's episodes on that. That's a whole other kettle of fish around your money mindset. But, “How much have you constructed your life so that, even if you got a windfall, that you wouldn't actually change very much?” 

And I sat down, and I did this exercise, and so did my husband. And we then compared notes, and we realised, that in actual fact, both of us wouldn't actually change very much. I wouldn't change my house. I might buy some new furniture, but I wouldn't change my house. I wouldn't change where I live. I wouldn't change my business. I wouldn't change where my kids are going to school. I wouldn't change my cars, because that's not a priority to me. 

Sure, we might go on a nice holiday, I might buy some new clothes, but that's the fluffing around the edges, when you get to design a life that you truly love, regardless of if you have $1 in the bank, or $100 million in the bank. You start to realise, when you can take that off the table, how much are you living a life that you love? Or, how much are you stuck going fishing, looking for boats, going to a cannery? And, it isn't bringing you any joy, and it is sapping the life out of you. 

Because, if having kids has taught me anything, it’s that, “Man, the time goes fast.” And we were told that, and I remember those long nights when they were newborns, and they wouldn't stop crying. And I thought, “Everyone says to me, that this goes so fast.” And yet now, as they're getting older, the years are flying by. My daughter's almost finishing Year Nine. This is insane. She's getting big. She's counting down how many days until she gets her licence. This is nuts!

And, if we are not careful, it is too easy for us to be stuck on the treadmill, and not actually take our power back, and say, “How do I want to construct my life?” “What really matters to me, and what courage do I need to have, if this life isn't one that I desire?” If this isn't a life that brings you joy, well, how do you put your hand up and say, “Okay, this is not how I want to feel,” And it may not be that you have to blow everything up. I'm not suggesting you have to sell houses or change jobs or switch out husbands, or any of these things. 

So often, all of these decisions and all of these feelings lie within you. It's your ability to tap into, “What is it that you want?” And the biggest challenge I see among so many women, is there's this canning factory path that has so much allure around it, and they think that that's the only path. That's the only one they have. Or there's the “lie-on-the-beach-and-be-a-fisherwoman.” The equivalent would be, sort of, a stay at home mom. 

But, that's not them, either. They're stuck between these two paths, not knowing that there's another option. It's just very much the path less travelled. And, it's one that you have to have courage to follow. Because, everybody else is going one of two ways. You've got to find your people, who are charting that course less travelled, who are saying, “To hell with convention!” Who have the courage to do things differently. And that's what it does take. 

It does take a lot of courage, because you do get judged by both sides. You will judge yourself, if you don't do the work on yourself. And this is where, hearing a story like this sometimes can be the wake-up call, that you perhaps need, in disguise, to take a look at your life. And I don't mean a “Yeah, yeah.” “Busy, busy.” “Need a colour-coded calendar?” You need more of this. To actually stop, and to say, “Have I designed a life that I want?” Is this bringing me joy? Is this bringing me fulfilment, or am I living my life with this magic, “Wait-until-one-day, when I retire, when I have more money? 

When I have more time, then I will be present with the kids, then I'll look after my health, then I'll repair my relationships, t then I'll pick up my friendships. The truth is, they might not be waiting for you, they might not be there on the other side. And so, I really encourage you today to listen to the message in this story, if you are meant to hear this at exactly this point in time. 

I heard this story in the exact moment when I needed it, as a really, really important reminder of. I have a beautiful life. I have a life that I wouldn't trade for anything, but that has not been a life that has come on a silver platter. This has been a life that has very much been cultivated by design. Those of you who know my story, know that I blew everything up in my past life, and, as a human, while I might look the same on the outside, the version of me who stands here in front of this microphone today is a very different version of me who blew up that life. 

I have done so much work on myself, on my wounds, on my limiting beliefs, on the weeds on my garden, on my identity, to now intentionally cultivate not just the life I want from an external or a logistical perspective, but also how I want to show up in that life, the emotions that I want to experience in that life. 

The version of me that I want to continue to evolve into and that is where the real joy is is saying I don't want the canning factory and I don't want to sit on the beach. What is it that I want? Let me surround myself with other people who are also finding out what they want, who are experimenting and really take the time to ensure that every day counts. I don't want you to live a life of suffering, of stress or overwhelm, waiting until some magical day when you get to sit on the beach, you can have your cake and eat it too. You just have to learn how. 

So here's to Fisherwomen everywhere. Here's to charting the course less traveled and you have a great day. Less traveled and you have a great day.

OUTRO: Thank you for joining us today on the Balance and Beyond Podcast. We're so glad you carved out this time for yourself. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who might need to hear this today. And if you're feeling extra generous, leaving us a review on your podcast platform of choice would mean the world. If you’re keen to dive deeper into our world, visit us at www.balanceinstitute.com to discover more about the toolkit that has helped thousands of women avoid burnout and create a life of balance, and beyond. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next time on the Balance & Beyond Podcast.