Balance & Beyond Podcast

Navigating life's decisions can feel like traversing a labyrinth. But what if the secret map lies within us?

Jo once stood at a crossroads, deciding whether to continue with a high-stakes business mastermind that promised growth but clashed with her intuition. This heart-to-heart episode traverses her personal journey of cultivating self-trust over external noise, revealing that the true essence of decision-making is not always about the choices themselves but rather about the confidence to trust one's own voice. Through her story, she aims to illuminate the struggles and triumphs in the art of decision-making, sharing the lessons learned from choosing authenticity over external validation and how it becomes a stepping stone to genuine personal growth.

Embarking on a new chapter, Jo found herself moving homes to a place that mirrored my aspirations, an intimate revelation that surfaced during this heartfelt discussion. We often search for change, but do we truly understand what propels us towards it? This episode is an open invitation to explore the deeper motivations behind life's pivotal choices, challenging you as a listener to peer into the roots of your desires for expansion and success. It's a call to action to clear the mental fog and step into a life aligned with your truth, promising a journey filled with magic, miracles, and the extraordinary power that comes with decisions made in harmony with your personal evolution.

Episode Transcript

INTRO: Welcome to Balance and Beyond, the podcast for ambitious women who refuse to accept burnout as the price of success. Here, we’re committed to empowering you with the tools and strategies you need to achieve true balance, where your career, relationships and health all thrive, and where you have the power to define success on your own terms. I honour the space you’ve created for yourself today, so take a breath, and let's dive right in…

I had some wisdom drop in recently. Or you could call this, “the benefit of hindsight.” And I want to share with you, and give you some understanding about why some of those big decisions that you need to make in life are actually, really, about the decision itself. We get so wrapped up in what is going on, that we've failed to see the bigger picture. That is actually the thing that we've been called to look at, in that moment. So, what am I talking about? 

As a business owner, I've had many, many decisions that I've had to make. And there were two key moments, over the course of probably the last five years, that felt really, really tricky for me. I'm someone who has, in time, learnt to trust my intuition and learnt to trust my gut. But, these two decisions were at a time when I was still learning to do that. And this is why now, with the knowledge and wisdom I have, I can look back on those decisions and go, “Ah! That’s why they were so hard for me!”

I, at the end of 2022, made a decision to leave a business mastermind course that I was a part of. Now with this, I was in this place for multiple years. I spoke to these people from all around the world, every week. It was very much a family. And I had invested hundreds of thousands of dollars to be a part of this mastermind. I've travelled to the US multiple times. So, we're not talking about a little, “I paid $37 a month for something” here. We are talking about lots and lots of money, and I did get some amazing results.  

However, at the time, as I was coming out for renewal into my third year, I was looking at the decision of, “Did I want to stay?” And there was something screaming at me that was saying, “You need to leave.” But, it was a really, really hard decision. And this is the thing that I have learnt recently. As I was a part of this community, there was a huge benefit to being there. There was this sense of belonging. It was a family. 

It was a wonderful community. And, let's be honest, there was also a bit of an ego trip that resulted from being part of this group, where you were put up on the stage as the people in the “top team mastermind”, as the people who have made it. as the people who are the best in class. And if you're in a room full of 300 people, and there's 10 of you that jump on stage, it can be nice to have everyone cheering you, and everyone saying, “Oh my gosh, I want to be like you!” So, you get this ego trip that comes from being part of these. You know, top tier, let's call them, “an elite level mastermind.” 

And, as I sat back and thought, “Hmm okay, do I want to stay here?” I had to wrestle with, “What is actually my ego?” and “What actually is right for me?” And the biggest piece that I uncovered on this journey was realising that the decision to stay or go, was never actually about the decision to stay or go. 

What lay underneath this key decision was, “Can I actually trust myself?” That was the decision. That was the decision around, “Do I stay or do I go?” The decision was, “Is it time for me to trust myself implicitly, or do I continue to outsource some of my trust to others?” 

This may seem a little cryptic. But what happened is, when you were in a mastermind course, and sometimes, when you're in certain containers, you thrive, and it's wonderful! However, some containers are also very much, “We've done it all, trust us.” “We've done it all, do what we say.” And that can be great when you're learning. 

But, at some point in time, you reach a place in your evolution where your gut is saying to you, “But these people are growing, and this isn't what I need anymore.” So, 2022 for me, it was very much a year of intuition and understanding. And what does my gut say, and “What is really here?” and “What had I realised?” That in that mastermind, my intuition wasn't being allowed to thrive, and I was very much at war with myself, because I wanted to do things their way, because I was paying them a lot of money, and they were the experts. 

And yet, my gut was saying, “You need to experiment.” “You need to try new things.” And then, the other side of my brain would say, “But who are you?” “You're not the expert, and you've never done this before, and you're paying to learn from these people, and these people are great people.” And then the other side would say, “Yeah, but what if you're different?” “What if you're designed not to follow the pack?” “What if you're designed to break convention?” 

And this was such a war that was inside me, and I found myself shrinking. I found myself not being able to be myself, because I was starting to experiment. That container I was in, I was almost ashamed for doing things a little bit different. I go, “My gosh, I'm having this success, but I'm a bit afraid.” “Because, if someone asks me, ‘What have I done?’ I've broken some of the rules of what people were doing in that environment.” And I've gone, “OK, but I really want to try this!” And then, I would beat myself up for breaking the rules. 

So, can you see how I ended up being at war with myself? And it was eventually my intuition that said, “OK, Jo, you have to stop this.” It's time for you to back yourself. It is time for you to put the adoration of other people down. It's time for you to actually trust yourself. Because I'd realised that, at some point, the adoration of thousands of other people wasn’t worth forsaking my own voice. Because my own voice was the only one that mattered. 

And, ironically, I had a similar journey to step into, with this mastermind course. I thought it was a decision about, “Do I join this mastermind, or do I not?” But, that wasn't the real decision. The real decision was, “Am I prepared to invest in myself at the next level?” It was, “Am I taking this seriously?” It was, “Am I ready to be the smallest person in the room, in terms of revenue numbers?” “Am I ready to put myself in a room of giants?” 

That was the real decision I was making. And it becomes very easy to be lured by the external things by well, the cost is much, or am I going to get a return on my investment? Or what are people going to think of me? It's very easy to get caught up in that, what I call the 3D world of stuff, things that are outside you and wanting to control that, and your ego then comes into play. Well, “I want to join that, because of these reasons.” 

And I'm not saying they're not valid. I'm not saying that they don't have a part in the decision. Of course, as any business owner, or any human who's spending any money, you want to make sure that you're going to be getting a return for that. But, when I dug deeper, the actual decision I was making was “Okay Jo, it's time to take this seriously.” “It's time to now put your money where your mouth is, and if you want to be the best, it's time for you to step up, and to hang around the best.” 

You've probably heard the saying that, “We are the combination of the energy of the five people that we surround ourselves with.” And I wanted to surround myself with people that were playing bigger! I wanted to be inspired by those people. And so, that was a really hard decision for me to make. “You know what?” “Not only am I prepared to step up to that level, but there is also a deeper journey there.” To say, “Am I worth spending that amount of money on myself?” 

We were talking about a five figure per month investment here. That was a significant chunk of my income, and I had to trust myself to say, “I'm trusting that I'm going to get value for money out of this investment.” “I'm trusting that by investing in me, this is the absolute best return I could ever ever make.”

I've learned in time that as humans, we tend to pay for our evolution in two ways. We either pay with time, or we pay with money. And my history with money and my financial upbringing, I was very much, “I'll figure it out myself.” “I'm smart, I'll work hard at it.” “I'll do lots of research, and I will pay.” Sorry, “I will pay with my time to sort it out.” 

And, yeah, I would eventually sort it out. And I see this all the time with women that come to me. “I'll work it out Jo.” “I'll keep reading self-help books.” “I'll wait a little while.” “I'll wait until I think about that.” Actually, just because they're not spending money, they don't realise that their time has an opportunity cost. And really, really smart people and really, really wealthy people actually prioritise their time, more than their money. 

So, having learned more about wealth and abundance, I realised that time was the one thing I could never get back. And the opportunity cost of me not backing myself, of not stepping up to this level, was not about the $10,000 a month I was investing to be in this mastermind course, and to sit at the top table. It was about the opportunity cost of, “How much am I leaving on the table, if I don't do this and that?” “How much?” 

Yes, there was revenue growth. But, it was also, “How many lives am I not helping because I'm waiting too long to figure this out?” It was, “How much joy am I missing out on because I'm at war with myself the whole time?” It was, “How much opportunity, how much growth, am I missing out on, because I feel like I have to do this myself?” 

So, that was the big decision. That was the decision that sat underneath, “Okay, I'm going to do this.” It then became, “I'm going to trust myself.” “Yes, I'm worth investing in.” “Yes, it's time to do this.” “Yes, it's time to grow.” And that is the beauty of learning to do this. 

This work is when you can start to understand and start to delve under the surface. “This decision feels really hard.” Okay, well, if it's a really hard decision, it's usually because it's not about the decision. It's not about the thing you think it is. You don't sit there at the ice cream container and go, “Vanilla or strawberry?” “Which one do I have?” That's a pretty simple decision, in the grand scheme of life. 

But, “Do I stay in this job, or go to another one?” “Do I start my own business, or do I stay here?” “What do I do with this relationship?” “I have this friendship that isn't serving me anymore.” You know, “I want to move.” A house where I want to live, all of these. But also, “Do I study again, or do I not?” 

So many of these big decisions that we have in life, it's not actually about the decision. It's about what really is underneath it. And 99% of the time, this is going to come back to you. This is going to come back to something that you are wrestling with. And very often, these decisions about what you believe, whether you’re worthy or not. It's about what you believe, what you are ready for, or not. But it's about what you feel is appropriate. 

And the moment you can start delving under these decisions, magic happens, because you can now go. “Oh, okay!” The real decision here is not, “Do I stay in this mastermind course, or do I go?” It’s, “Am I ready for this next level of growth?” It’s, “Is it time for me to trust my intuition?” That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the decision, whether I stayed or went. And very often, staying in containers that aren't growing, it's not the right thing. 

Had that container grown, had that container expanded, well then, yeah, it would have been the place for me, because I wanted to grow very fast, and I needed to be in a place that was going to evolve with me. And so, when you can dive underneath and ask yourself, “What's the thing about me?” And then, you will start to see, “What's the resistance that I’m bumping into?” That, my friend, is where the work is. That is where you need to uncover, “What is the limiting belief I have about myself here?” Is there a piece of, “I don't believe that I'm worthy of this.” 

Okay, well, you've got some work to do. You've got some work to do on your self-confidence. You've got some work to do to believe in and trust yourself. And this was the journey that I have been on, and have continued to be on. I've done other podcast episodes on this, around trusting my intuition, around accessing that part of me, and getting that deep inner-knowing that says, “This is the right decision” 

And the more I have cultivated that intuition, the more I have built that muscle, and the better everything has become. I'm talking about making fast decisions, because I can see what's the thing under the decision. I'm able to not second guess decisions. I don't live with regret, because I know that I've trusted my gut. I've trusted that inner-knowing on that decision. 

And, even if it turns out to be the wrong decision, or I make a different decision a little bit, after that time. That's okay! Because, I made the best decision I could. So, I can have this beautiful level of compassion for myself. And I've seen this play out time, and time, and time again. 

Even when I moved house at the end of 2022, having downsized after selling the dream home, and blowing up my life, we then upsized again. And I had to wrestle with, “Why am I really doing this?” “What is it that I really wanted?” And I realised that I had grown so much in the house that I was in for five years. That was the downsized house. I was ready for expansion. I was ready for the next level, and I wanted my environment to fit that. 

I didn't want an environment that felt closed, or that didn't feel as spacious. And I wanted to put myself, every single day, in an environment of light, and spaciousness, and that was what I was craving. And so, if my current environment didn't fit what I wanted, what was in alignment for me, then it was time to make a decision. And, yes, I had all the “3D” things about, “Well, what's happening to property prices?” And, “What does the best financial decision make mean for us?”

But, if you peel all those layers back, what's underneath that? It's wanting to get in alignment, and wanting to ensure that my environment is setting me up for success. The more I have been able to do that, the more I've been able to tap into that decision. Things happen faster. And it is the most glorious life, where you can make miracles happen. 

And I love playing in the realm of magic, of people saying, “You're never gonna believe this, Jo!” “You are never gonna believe … “ And that's a statement that anyone who's been in my world often laughs at, because crazy things happen around here. This is the realm that you get to play in, when you get things out of the way, when you get out of your own way. 

So today, my question for you is, “What decision are you struggling with right now?” “Where are you going?” “Option A or option B?” “Where are you torn?” “Where are you spending an inordinate amount of time suffering, for not knowing what the answer is?” 

If you were to stop and actually think about it, and peel back the surface levels of what this decision is, or what this decision isn't. What really is the decision that you're making? And bring it back to you, “Is it about your growth?” “Is it about you stepping up?” “Is it about you believing that you're worth something?” Have the courage to look. 

This isn't always easy. And the scarier it is to look, the more courage it takes. But, the more important it is for you to go there, because this is the decision that is ready for you to step into that next level of growth. If you don't make this decision, you will continue to stay in your comfort zone. 

So, it's why these decisions are tricky. It's about leaving your comfort zone. Whether that's financially, whether that's to do with a house, or a job, or opportunity, or business, or whatever it is. This is about you stepping into the next level. So, you gotta back yourself. You gotta hunt down those weeds in your garden. You've got to identify what really is going on here. Because, I promise you. I want you to play in the realm of magic, and miracles, and work out what's going on, and step forward into the best version of you. Happy hunting!

OUTRO: Thank you for joining us today on the Balance and Beyond Podcast. We're so glad you carved out this time for yourself. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who might need to hear this today. And if you're feeling extra generous, leaving us a review on your podcast platform of choice would mean the world. If you’re keen to dive deeper into our world, visit us at www.balanceinstitute.com to discover more about the toolkit that has helped thousands of women avoid burnout and create a life of balance, and beyond. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next time on the Balance & Beyond Podcast.