Balance & Beyond Podcast

Have you ever found yourself on the precipice of burnout, juggling the demands of career and family, and felt like there must be a better way?

Lindsey Butler, a clinical pharmacy consultant from Kansas City, wife, and mother of three, joins us to share the profound moments and mindset shifts that steered her towards a fulfilling work-life balance. She opens up about the emotional battle with homemade cupcakes, symbolising her struggle to be an engaged parent while climbing the corporate ladder. Lindsey's journey is a beacon for anyone looking to navigate the stormy seas of modern life, and her personal toolkit offers actionable insights for reclaiming time for self-care and family without sacrificing career advancement or personal health.

As we peer further into Lindsey's transformative tale, she takes us from a place where career limitations loomed large to a realm brimming with opportunity and achievement. Imagine the astonishment of Lindsey's former self, beholding a life now rich with VIP experiences and the luxury of private jet travel. Throughout our conversation, she underscores the value of self-worth, the power of support systems and coaching, and the undeniable truth that hard work can yield incredible rewards. For those seeking to unlock their potential, improve relationships, and find professional satisfaction, Lindsey's narrative is more than just inspiration—it's a testament to the change that's possible when you take control of your story.

Episode Transcript

INTRO: Welcome to Balance and Beyond, the podcast for ambitious women who refuse to accept burnout as the price of success. Here, we’re committed to empowering you with the tools and strategies you need to achieve true balance, where your career, relationships and health all thrive, and where you have the power to define success on your own terms. I honour the space you’ve created for yourself today, so take a breath, and let's dive right in…

Jo Host

On today's episode, I am talking to a wonderful woman, called Lindsay, who came to me after crying over cupcakes. And she's got a very inspirational story, to give you hope that you can have not just the job of your dreams, but the life of your dreams, too. Welcome, Lindsey! 

Lindsey Guest

Hi, thanks for having me. 

Jo Host

I'm very excited to share your story! Before we kick off, why don't you introduce yourself, and tell us a little bit about who you are, and where you're from? Obviously, from the accent, you're not an Aussie. Where are you? 

Lindsey Guest

Yes, so I am Lindsay Butler, and I am based out of Kansas City. So, I'm in the centre of the United States. I'm on the Kansas side, if you're curious, and I am a pharmacist by training. I spent most of my career providing medications to patients. But now, I am a clinical pharmacy consultant, and I support employers on their pharmacy benefit plan. So, helping them understand their insurance. 

And a lot of the groups I work with are hospital and health systems and help them with a strategy to really utilise their prescribers, and their own pharmacies, to have an awesome plan for their employees. And on the other side, my personal life, I am married to my husband, Drew, coming up on 10 years now, it’s hard to believe. And, we have three kids. So, our oldest, Lucas, is eight, Logan is six, and our daughter, Dylan, is four. So, they keep us busy when we're not at work. 

Jo Host

Pretty full life. So, let's just say you're not coasting here. 

Lindsey Guest

No, there's no coasting. 

Jo Host

And, apart from the ages of your kids, a lot of your life looks very different from when we first met a couple of years ago. Why don't you take us back? How was life, a couple of years ago? What were you feeling? What was going on inside you? And on top of that, you looked very different, didn't you? 

Lindsey Guest

Yes, yes. So, we connected about three years ago, which is crazy to think about and so in 2021. And, as a pharmacist, I was knee deep in COVID vaccines. So, we were just trying to get everybody vaccinated, to get out of lockdown, and all the other things that came with being in COVID. 

But, I was with a different company and trying to advance my career, while also caring for three kids, and I just didn't know how I could keep going. Or how I could go to the next level. And I also had the fear of missing out on my kids growing up. So, I know it was around Christmas time when I first looked at your posting, or Facebook ad. 

It took me another four months before I finally booked a session. Because I was praying. Because, I hadn't made cupcakes for my son's birthday, and I thought I was the worst mum in the world. And fast forward three years. Now, I don't buy cupcakes anymore. I have a cooking lady, and she makes them, and they're great, and I don't suffer over that.

But back then, I was definitely suffering at work concerning my performance, and also around my kids. And that's when I took the leap to get something different. Because, I still wanted to work. But, I wanted to enjoy my home life as well. So, that's kind of what started it. 

The first eight weeks through foundations were a whirlwind. I remember the second week and taking the time audit, and I found all sorts of time. And one of those was time to make lunch. Because I was never packing lunch. I was travelling a lot in the car, so I was just drinking Mountain Dew and eating pizza for most meals of the day. 

And by just being able to make a lunch for myself, all of a sudden, I dropped 25 pounds, which was the start of a journey on getting myself not only healthier then, but overall healthier now.

But, I had a lot of quick mindset shifts during those first few weeks. On how to show up differently at work ,and how to put work down when I got home. And I think that was just kind of the start of a lot of things for me, really. 

Jo Host

Yeah, I think many people can relate to the crying over cupcakes, right? We've got these perceptions of what we think makes a good mum. And especially your career, it was really important to you. And so, how are you obviously crying over cupcakes?

But, what were the thoughts that were going through your head then? I know there was a lot of guilt? But, what else was going on about how you were, or weren't, able to be present? 

Lindsey Guest

Yeah, so, it started with, I was worried about what kind of birthday party I was putting on for my son, if I didn't make cupcakes. Which then led me down a whole spiral of things. So, that ultimately led to, “I'm a terrible mum.” And. it wasn't until I did some of this work with you, that I realised that was also the path I was taking at work. 

So, if I was showing up at meeting after meeting, even if I did well, I was over analysing it. And then, I would always find one critique which would ultimately lead me down to, “My boss is going to think I'm an idiot, and then I'm going to mess up, and I'm ultimately going to lose my job, and that is going to make me a terrible parent, because I can't provide for my kids.”

Once I realised the narrative that was in my head, I was really able to shut that down and change that, so that I could show myself that I really was a good mom. 

Jo Host

​​And what do you think was, this is going to be an interesting question, what was the biggest shift for you, that got you feeling that way at home? That allowed you to feel like a good mom and parent differently? 

Lindsey Guest

For me, it was providing the evidence. So Jo's going to laugh, because I like the data. You need to know the information. And so I did a lot of 50 stacks around that. “I'm a good mum.” “What I'm doing for my kids, that shows them a good mum.” 

And it didn't have to be elaborate things, which is what I was making. It seemed, in my head, like letting your kid go and pick out cupcakes at the store for his birthday is just as good as making them yourself. And maybe even better, because they taste better. But, it's the little things that I was doing that I wasn't giving myself credit for, and I think the same one is showing up at work. 

I kept wanting to do these big, elaborate things, instead of reviewing all the little things that I'm doing that are having a big impact, in the long run. And so, I put those in the one spot that I could really focus on, when I needed it. And then, there was also just needing to have something that I could use to turn off the narrative. 

I would just yell at myself, when I could when I catch myself doing it. And then it helped me snap out of it. To stop the spiral. I still use that today, and it involves swear words, so I won't say it out loud. But, it really helps snaps me out of it, if I need it now. And I catch myself so much faster than I did back then. But those were really the big shifts that I had to make, to really get going. 

Jo Host

And they sound pretty simple, on the outside, don't they? 

Lindsey Guest

Oh, they do, they do. 

Jo Host

But, they were pretty tricky to get to a place where they actually worked, weren't they? 

Lindsey Guest

They were. And it took me time sitting down, and thinking through, and putting them there. And I still have them today, and have added to them as new things come up. Don't need them as often as I used to, but I definitely needed them a lot back then, just to have that evidence. I guess it was there, just to support what I knew, but needed to stop eating myself up for it. 

Jo Host

We can know it, but we don't believe it, right? 

Lindsey Guest

Exactly, yeah. 

Jo Host

I love it. And so now, fast forward, you look different. And now you're in a different role. 

Lindsey Guest

Yeah!

Jo Host

What caused you to do this? I don't know if those two things were related. They probably were. But, it was a big move for you to leave a place that you've been for over a decade, wasn't it? It’s almost your entire career. 

Lindsey Guest

Yes, for 13 years. And ironically, it took a lot to go from this place I had been my entire adult career. I graduated from pharmacy school, and went right in. I went back to those 50 stacks a lot, to help myself actually leave. And, ironically, I think I'm on the anniversary of the day I quit last year. 

So, it took that confidence to know that I, in myself, could do anything. And just because I don't know everything at this new company, I'll learn it. I'm a fast learner, and I had to kind of go through some of those 50 stacks to remind myself of why I was good for this job. And so that's how I finally made the leap. And it's been a whirlwind, to say the least, at this new position. 

So, when I first started, some of those old habits tried to come back in, because I wanted to prove myself at a new company. And initially my first thought was to just do a bunch of work, and show a bunch of things, and I had to remind myself that it's a process at a new company, and the things that they hired me for, are going to happen. 

So it was a big shift there. And I know we had a lot of talks, Jo and I, about some of the new narratives in my head that I was worried about. And once I got there, I was like, “I'm going to be a big hit.” And once I really got over some of that suffering, there were a lot of meetings that I was having that I was spending 30 minutes thinking about. And once I got over that, and the productivity or the things that I've been able to accomplish in this short time period, I surpassed all of these companies expectations. And I have been able to bring on new businesses and new streams that they didn't even know were possible, I guess. 

So, it's been pretty amazing. And with that, I wanted to also continue to get healthier. To not only take care of my body because of some of the health conditions I have, but to really see fueling my body in a different way. It would help me be even more productive, because I was getting tired every afternoon. And so in July, I took that leap, and I've dropped another 60 pounds since then. 

Jo Host

Just dropped another 60 pounds, and then 20 pounds! For the odd things we're talking about, what are you up to now in total, since you started? In pounds? 

Lindsey Guest

Yeah, like, around 85. 

Jo Host

85 pounds. So we're talking 30 or 40 kilos lost. That's not a small number, yeah. 

Lindsey Guest

Yeah, yep. And so, I feel great! I feel I’m really able to reach the afternoon. You know, that 2:00-4:30 pm time frame, and I’m just getting more things done. I don't want to say I'm doing a lot more, when I say, “Get things done.” But, I’m able to be more strategic in the afternoon, versus how I was before. If I didn't get my strategic time done between 8:00-10:00 am, it's kind of out the window. 

So now, I just mean, this afternoon, I put two strategic plans together for clients, in that amount of time. So, it's been really incredible. And then my arthritis is not flaring, and I'm coaching both my son's basketball teams this winter. So, I have the energy to do that at night, which is really the most rewarding part. 

Jo Host

So, look at that, Lindsay! Let's be clear. You didn't take a step back in this role, did you? You've taken a very big step up. 

Lindsey Guest

Big step up! However, I want to say there was a mindset shift there, too. Because, I took a title demotion. But, in reality, I've done a ton!

Jo Host

So, you've done a ton, and your bank account is going to start reflecting that. And let's also be clear. You're not working until nine o'clock every night, are you? 

Lindsey Guest

No, my company only works till 4:30 pm, every day. It's great! 

Jo Host

But, a lot of places only technically work till 5:00 pm, or 5:30 pm. And the women will work till 9:00 pm. So you're not working those hours, because you don't have to prove yourself, do you? 

Lindsey Guest

I don't have to prove myself, and I'm able to get what I need to get done in the day, yep.

Jo Host

What do you think the Lindsey of three years ago, who I think found one of my initial videos, as you said to me, was open on your phone for three months, before you got through the full 12 minutes. What do you think that version of Lindsey would say to you today? 

Lindsey Guest

Well, I think that version of Lindsey would have no idea that this Lindsey was possible. If she could see me now, she would have definitely dialled in faster. But I would say, like now, just knowing that there are so many more possibilities to achieve what I want. Both professionally, and at home, and I think that's the coolest part. Because, as a pharmacist, I thought I had this linear career progression. I believed so strongly that these were my options for a career. 

And now I've just opened up so many more doors and possibilities that I just didn't even know were possible. And yeah, the bank account now has no limit, as there was in my previous role. I'm at a company that rewards people for the work they do, which is awesome! Not to mention all the other fun things I've got to do at this new job, this year. 

Jo Host

Yeah, we're talking flying in a private jet. We're talking about all kinds of box seats to amazing opportunities! 

Lindsey Guest

Yeah!

Jo Host

So, the perks have been endless!

Lindsey Guest

They have been. They have been, which is just something I didn't think people like me would get to do. And here I am, getting to do them! Yeah! 

Jo Host

Isn't it fascinating, though? That as you start to value yourself more, as you do the work on you, the external world matches to meet you? 

Lindsey Guest

Yeah, absolutely crazy! 

Jo Host

So, do you think you could have gotten there alone? You've obviously been in our world for quite a while. What role do you think that support has played, and what are you getting from it? Because a lot of women, you know, have this feeling of, “I'll do it myself.” “I don't want to ask for help.” “There's something wrong with me.” How much do you think that's contributed? 

Lindsey Guest

Oh, I think it's been everything. You know, how to push me out of my own head. I mean, I think the initial program helped me in so many ways, just seeing some of the blind spots, and really getting to the roots of some of my weeds. There were some big ones, in those first couple sessions. 

And then just, really helping me to develop that toolkit to support myself. But, also knowing that there's always something else that we can dig further to find. That you didn't even know was there until we got rid of all the other crap on top. So I think it's been vital. My husband would tell you the same thing, that something changed, once we started connecting. 

Jo Host

Amazing! So, if there's somebody listening to this, or watching this, who is crying over cupcakes, or thinks they're a bad mum, what would you like to share? I mean, you are proof that you can have it all, right? You've got good health now. Your relationship with Drew is better. You're a more present mum. You've improved your career, and you’re working less! Your bank balance is healthy. Like, you're the poster child for people who say, “It doesn't happen.” “It doesn't work.” What would you say to them? 

Lindsey Guest

I would say the possibilities are there, if you're open to doing the work to get there. I'm not going to say it was easy. I mean, there was lots more crying, in a good way. But, you have to be ready to put the time in, and kind of draw a line in the sand and say, “This is not the path I want to go.” “I want something different.” And that took me a little bit. 

But, once I made the leap, I was all in. And making the time to do the work each week is also important, because it doesn't “just happen.” We have our sessions, I have some rituals I do every day, and I never thought I would be a journaler, but that's where I find all the stuff comes out, when I start journaling. So, yeah, I like it! My journal goes with me everywhere. You never know when  you might need it. 

Jo Host

But a journal is just a tool, right? 

Lindsey Guest

That's what I love about it!

Jo Host

You've now got this beautiful toolkit that allows you to get out of your head, to swear at yourself, and have this built-in alter ego. That was pivotal in you, in this new role, which is one of the many tools that people have heard of. But, it's actually learning how to implement it, and making these things work for you. So, she can come out whenever she needs to. So, you've got a pretty impressive toolkit. And what I love is that the bigger your toolkit becomes, the better the results on the outside. 

Well, Lindsey, you're an inspiration! You're an absolute joy to work with. We've had the pleasure of meeting in person, and we're going to meet in person again in 2024. So, I am very excited to see where this goes, and I love the more evidence we have gathered! There might be a woman listening to this who says, “Maybe I can be like Lindsay.” So, just think, you've given hope, you've inspired someone. And so, fingers crossed, there's fewer women, because of you being here, crying over cupcakes. 

OUTRO: Thank you for joining us today on the Balance and Beyond Podcast. We're so glad you carved out this time for yourself. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who might need to hear this today. And if you're feeling extra generous, leaving us a review on your podcast platform of choice would mean the world. If you’re keen to dive deeper into our world, visit us at www.balanceinstitute.com to discover more about the toolkit that has helped thousands of women avoid burnout and create a life of balance, and beyond. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next time on the Balance & Beyond Podcast.