Not the type of threesome he'd imagined…

"I feel like I'm having an affair… with your laptop!"

Was something hubby said to me not too long ago.

"It joins us on the couch, it's in between us in bed and it's the first thing you touch in the morning."

Ouch.

You know what? He was right. I was very much glued to my laptop and it was coming in between us. Thankfully, I'm in a position to be able to fix this but I know of many women who feel that 'just putting it away' isn't an option.

… But Jo, 9.30pm is the only time I get to do the real work I need to get done because I spend my days in back-to-back meetings

… If I don't clear my inbox each night (and answer a few quick emails) I'll start my day underwater before it's even begun

… I left early to do pick up and so need to show everyone my work won't suffer

Are just some of the stories and reasons they tell me they need to work on the couch every night.

"So, when do you actually chat to your husband?" I ask these women?

"Oh, on the couch after the kids have gone to bed."

Ahhhh…. So after 9.30pm when you're engrossed in emails, working on a powerpoint pitch or trying to think.

Real quality conversation you're going to be having!

Is it any wonder that doing this type of mental activity means you struggle to fall asleep, or that you're not connected to your partner because you're not actually spending any quality time together

Ahhhh… lights go off in their brains.

"That's all well and good Jo," they say. "So how do I stop?"

The answer lies in asking yourself why you're working at night in the first place. Why do you feel that despite doing a 10 hour day in the office you still need to do more? I'm guessing others in your company, specifically males, aren't working on the couch as religiously as you

Do you find you're always saying yes to taking on additional work or extra projects? Do you feel you need to respond to people straight away? Does your work need to look perfect? Do you need to 'make up' hours because you did something for the family?

If the answer to any of these is yes… then we need to talk. You are suffering from 'Good Girl Complex' and it will be holding you back at work, at home and is likely a cause of much angst and overwhelm.

It is possible to not feel like you have to put in a certain number of hours. It's possible to reconnect with your partner without a device between you. You just need to know how it's done, without feeling guilty, terrified or out of your depth.

Let me help! Turns out, many of us breadwinners are Good Girls and I'm now very adept at spotting your symptoms a mile away! Scarily good! So let's chat about how being a Good Girl is holding you back, and how we can stop the affair of the laptop kind in your relationship!

 P.S. If you caught the word threesome and realised that you may have turned into a nun, Good Girl Complex could be part of the root cause (haha… sorry!). Let's chat about how you can get a lot less laptop in your relationship and a lot more of something else.